You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
