Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Randomize
