The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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