Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
