new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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