can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
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Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
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I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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