yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize