summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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