Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
