All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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