my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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