i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
