:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
