If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
