He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
