dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize