No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize