If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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