talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
