i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize