I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
