to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
