I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
