This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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