help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
