i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize