Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
