I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
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I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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