His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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