Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
