beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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