don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
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im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
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I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
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