what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
