So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
