well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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