And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
