i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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