And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
