She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
There's even glitter on my cock...
I did not marry a roomba.
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