weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
