I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
soo... how was my night?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
