Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
