yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize