Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
