idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
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after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
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I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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