I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
