Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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