My hair reeks of homosexuality.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
