I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
