And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
