it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
