i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
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private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
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Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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