Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
