I'm drive I can fine osifer
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
