Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
