he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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