hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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