God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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