Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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